Shadow of the Day
by NowakiStar
Summary: Misaki is forced to move out because of Takahiro. Doing so changes his life completely. Spoilers; No happily ever after; T for naughty lanuage; Series of songfics. You know you want to click!
1. Shadow of the day

_Inspired by the song Shadow of the day by Linkin Park. I did this for one of those shuffle games and loved it. This one is probably more serious than my other stories. You have no clue how many times I wanted to write "then he got raped" or "Misaki was then jumped…" at the end of my paragraphs. *shakes head at self and mutters, "I'm soo messed up."*_

_**Spoiler Alert! If you haven't read book 12, back off.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Junjou Romantica or Linkin Park.**_

--

The day itself was dark and depressing. A heavy black raincloud had long covered the sun. Misaki looked at the sky through the window beside the bed he never used. He'd lived with Usami Akihiko for three years. Three years wasn't that long, but he felt like it'd been forever since the day his brother had hugged him good-bye and left him with Usami. Who turned out to be a BL novelist who was majorly annoying.

"Misaki are you done yet?" Akihiko asked, poking his head into the room. It was empty expect for the bare mattress Misaki was sitting on.

"I'd like to a stay a couple more moments." He answered, "Is that okay?"

Akihiko smiled and sat beside him. For once he was acting perfectly serious.

"Misaki…"

"Akihiko," they both started at once. Akihiko shrugged, as if to say 'not important, go ahead.' And Misaki continued, "I… Nevermind." There was long silence before Akihiko finally cleared his throat.

"Were you about to admit that you'll miss me?" Akihiko asked.

"As if," Misaki replied, leaning back.

"I'm going to miss you," the older boy admitted.

Misaki didn't say anything. He watched the ceiling and tried to tell himself it didn't matter. He was holding back tears. But he couldn't let himself cry in front of Akihiko.

"You can call me anytime,"

"Yeah," Misaki said, sniffling a little. They both knew they weren't going to see each other. And it was too late for Misaki to tell his brother the truth.

A week ago Takahiro had called. He'd been all excited because the apartment across from his was empty. And since Misaki was done with school it wouldn't hurt him to leave on the other side of town. And it wasn't like Misaki could say no. Not without having to tell his brother everything.

"Come on, Misaki. It's no good to dwell on the past."

Sniffling again, Misaki nodded and followed Akihiko downstairs. He looked around the messy apartment for the last time. Suzuki-san smiled at him from the couch, his black eyes seemed to watch them leave.

They crammed a few suitcases into the back. Misaki didn't own very much, and the suitcases were mainly filled with junk he'd gotten from Usami. No matter what he told him, the novelist insisted on buying Misaki just about everything.

Even though it was annoying, Misaki felt he'd miss even that about him.

Misaki slid into the passenger seat beside Usami. The drive was unusually quiet. And unusually fast, as if the Fates wanted his torture to come swiftly.

They parked in front of the apartment complex. Akihiko muttered something about calling Takahiro but neither of them moved.

"Do you want help unpacking?"

--

"Are you sure you're going to be okay alone?" Misaki asked. They'd spent the past hour unpacking, rearranging everything and eating a microwave dinner. They had run out of reasons for Akihiko to stay.

"I've lived alone for years, I'll be okay." Akihiko said, staring sadly at the door.

"Are sure? You could always stay here for a night…" Misaki tried, thinking quickly. There had to be more. Akihiko couldn't just vanish.

"Misaki, did you just invite me to spend the night with you?" he asked, smiling.

"No! Stop making everything seem weird, you pervert."

"Hey, I didn't say it." He said, looking at his watch. "I better go,"

Misaki watched Akihiko stand and start for the door. He caught him before he could leave and hugged him. He'd never admit it to Usami, but he really didn't want him to leave.

"Good-bye," Misaki said, eyes beginning to water again.

"Misaki… I'll see you around." He said, though he didn't push Misaki away.

Tears ran down his face as Misaki realized it really was the end. Things could never be the same after this.

"Just remember, no matter what happens. You still belong to me, okay? Just because things are different doesn't mean we can't still be together." Usami said, stepping away from him. Without another word he walked out, leaving Misaki to cry by himself.

Brushing away his tears, Misaki pulled the blinds away from his window. The sun had come out, releasing the world from the dark mood even as it set. It was just a little too late.

--

**I didn't know if anyone will like these. (And there will be a sequel.) And I'm not sure if it's going to have a happy ending. All well, if you like it review. **


	2. You Belong To Me

_For some reason you continued onto chapter two. Again, I say I'm sure how this is going to end. Anyway this is _You belong to me_ by __Lifehouse__. (My mother learned how to download music. Lol. … Well, it isn't that bad) And it came on when I was writing the first chapter and I thought "Wow, this must be Akihiko's version!" Hope you enjoy. _

_Apologies for any OOC. _

--

Akihiko hated leaving Misaki. He couldn't believe he hadn't just told Takahiro himself. But Misaki didn't want him too, and that was fine. He knew Misaki hated leaving, and it was all he could do to get back in his car and drive away. Was love always this complicated?

_It didn't matter,_ he decided. Misaki was still his. No matter where he went or who he dated, he would always belong to Akihiko. Though Akihiko wasn't planning on standing by and watching him date someone else.

But he wasn't oblivious to the fact that Misaki had left him. This was Misaki's choice. He'd do anything for the one he loved. But could he really let Misaki go?

No. Misaki was still his.

Besides Usami knew he wouldn't stop thinking about Misaki until he saw him again. It happened three years ago when Takahiro had asked Misaki to live with him. Of course Akihiko had made something up and got Takahiro to reconsider.

Their relationship had nearly fallen apart then. But he'd fixed it.

--

Usami couldn't write. Writers block wasn't something that affected him often, mostly because he had a certain cutie living with him, but with Misaki gone Akihiko didn't think he would be able to finish his story. And it wasn't even a BL novel this time! It was a normal novel, with a normal character in a normal town with a normal boring life.

He ended up turning the TV on. He couldn't focus on anything, and at one point lit a cigarette because life just wasn't worth fighting for. Who cared about an early death when life itself was already so painful?

He fell asleep on the couch, dreaming about Misaki. Sadly, they weren't even his normal wet-dreams about Misaki. They were depressing ones about having Misaki hate him. He knew Misaki didn't hate him. But he had always been pretty forceful with him, and worrying was only natural. Did Misaki feel like he was being taking advantage of? Was he trying to escape Akihiko?

He woke up earlier than normal too. He wasn't a morning at all, which made it even weirder. But he didn't even try going back to sleep. He was afraid of seeing the dream Misaki's again.

Aikawa showed up at noon to yell at him about not finish his story yet. Then she asked where Misaki was because she had some extra muffins to give him.

"He's gone," Usami said, not meeting her eyes.

"Oh… I'm so sorry to hear that." She actually meant it too. Misaki was a good friend, even though Akihiko kept trying to convince him she was the devil, and he did help her when he could. Not only that, she knew how important Misaki was to the author.

She hugged him quickly before leaving. Even if she was the devil, and we all know she is, she was still a good friend.

**--**

**Okay, I have no more for this song. I tried. Please review. I'm just sort of doing these in my spare time when I should be working on my other stories. But, I'd love to know what you all think of it.**


	3. Without You

_Okay, this is a couple weeks after Misaki left. Anyway, inspired by the song _Without you_ by _Hinder.

_(Also these are going to be very short chapters. I'm sorry for that but it's because I want to fit it with the song. Sorry for not updating in awhile. Work started back up after the snow storms. Ugh.)_

--

Misaki woke up late. He still didn't have a job, except helping Aikawa. But that wasn't a real job. Takahiro said so himself.

He went to the kitchen first to make breakfast. He almost began making two before remembering he no longer lived with Akihiko. Even after two weeks, he couldn't stop thinking about Usami. He'd never let himself admit that he was missing him, and the more personal moments of their relationship. But he did.

_No,_ he told himself. I _was perfectly fine without Akihiko! I don't need him!_

It had been weeks since he moved out and Misaki was already beginning to see himself differently. He was more comfortable with himself, and caught himself checking out some guy's butt at the mall the other day. Of course, he'd blushed and slapped himself before thinking out loud about how gay that was. This got him the couple weird looks that he always got when thinking about it.

"I need to get over him," Misaki told himself. "No, I _am_ over him! I'm fine."

But thinking about how Akihiko had left… He wasn't sure if he could ever be fine after that.

--

After eating Misaki went back to bed. He needed a break.

He hadn't expected Usami to let him go. He really hadn't. Akihiko didn't even try to spend the night.

_Has he moved on?_ Misaki wondered this as he crawled back into bed. He couldn't see Akihiko with anyone else. It just didn't seem right.

But then he remembered how he'd let almost Sumi kiss him. Was Usami really that easily led astray?

Of course, Misaki was the one who'd left. All because he couldn't stand up to his brother and tell him what was going on. He'd let Takahiro run his life into the ground. Misaki was the worst. Did Akihiko deserve better?

_I'm going to be fine,_ he told himself. _I just need to be alone for awhile…_

_--_

**Yes, I know exactly where this is going. I have all the songs lined up on my iPod. The ending… I don't know yet. The last song is Iris and I'm not yet sure how it will turn out.**


	4. Running Away

_I'm actually somewhat amazed that people like this… _

_Earlier today I wrote the last chapter. I needed to do something while waiting to see Shutter Island with my friend. At least I know how to end this! And forgive me for all the rain. Where I live rain is a sign of spring coming. (Yeah, it rains all spring. And I love it!) And after the snowstorms, we're all looking forward to the rain. *Shrugs while looking out window, thinking, 'We really should try a rain-dance…'* lol. _

_**Inspired by**__: Running Away by Hoobastank._

--

"_I don't want you to give it all up, live your whole life collecting dust. And I don't want you to feel sorry for me. You never gave us a chance to be. And I don't need you to be by my side and tell me that every things all right."_

--

Akihiko still didn't want to believe Misaki had given him up soo quickly. They both knew the time would come for them to separate. But wasn't their relationship stronger? Why couldn't they just tell Takahiro, like Usami wanted to?

He knew it would solve everything. He just had to tell Takahiro the truth, then he could take Misaki back home. Plain and Simple.

No, this is Misaki's decision.

And if Misaki didn't want to tell him, Usami wouldn't force him too.

But even after a few weeks, Misaki wouldn't answer his voicemails.

--

"_Why are you running away? Why is it that hard to say?"_

--

He knew Misaki was just ignoring him. And he couldn't stand it. There was only one thing for him to do. He had to see Misaki. To talk to him, in person.

It took forever for him to drive to Misaki's apartment. In reality he knew it was only ten minutes. But the drive seemed long and horrible. And speeding did nothing to help.

Usami really didn't have a clue what to say. He just knew they needed to talk. It had been three weeks since he left Misaki there, was that long enough for him to meet someone else?

_No,_ he assured himself, _Misaki is mine and nothing can change that._

He stepped out onto the wet pavement. The rainy days had continued after since he'd left. He cursed the weather like any normal person. He walked to Misaki's room, suddenly no longer sure of himself. What if Misaki was mad at him for some reason? No, Misaki was in tears when I left. Maybe he thought Usami had actually been taking advantage of him? But he sure Misaki enjoyed it too… What if Takahiro found out?

The last question had him the most scared. His friend wouldn't understand; that's why Misaki didn't want to tell him. Maybe Misaki had told him in the hopes of coming back home. And Takahiro over reacted…

He knocked fast and hard against Misaki's door. It was answered a minute later by a very sleepy looking Misaki.

The green eyes widened as Misaki stepped back. Akihiko took this as a chance to enter the apartment, though he didn't take his eyes off Misaki for even a moment.

"Hello, Misaki," he tried, sitting down on the sofa as if he owned the place.

"You're up earlier than normal," the boy rushed into the kitchen as he spoke, quickly heating water for tea.

"Actually I was up all night," Usami said, lighting a cigarette and looking around. The apartment was clean, he sure have known it would be, but also very plain. It didn't look at all as if Misaki had decorated or rearranged anything since Akihiko had left.

"You better have finished your story, if not Aikawa will have my…" he stopped as if realizing things had changed since then.

Usami got up and moved toward Misaki. They couldn't avoid their problem forever. He put his arms around Misaki, about to whisper 'I still love you.'

"No!" the younger boy yelled, elbowing him in the gut. He spun around to face him, to yell Akihiko for whatever he'd done wrong, but stopped when he saw the hurt expression. He couldn't hit Akihiko. Not when he was making that face.

"Misaki, tell me what's wrong." He said, one hand holding his stomach where he'd been hit. He'd never thought of Misaki as deadly before, until now.

The teen turned away, "Go home, Usagi."

Akihiko didn't move. Misaki was hurting, he could tell by his voice. He was probably just holding back tears. He could leave Misaki like that.

He turned Misaki toward him, and tilted his face up. The green eyes refused to meet his at first. But Akihiko waited. He knew kissing Misaki and rushing everything would help nothing. Finally he returned Akihiko's gaze. His eyes were just as sad as he knew they would be.

"Misaki…" he started, "Please talk to me."

"I wanted to forget you." He answered begrudgingly, a tear slowly falling down his cheek. "I don't want to love someone I can't be with. It's depressing."

"No one said we couldn't be together… We don't have to tell Takahiro, you could pretend to move away."

"He'd want to come visit me then. You know how protective he is." Misaki backed away from him. He was more stubborn than Usami remembered but he could see in Misaki's eyes that he wanted to stay with him.

--

"_When I get close, you turn away. Nothing that I can do or say. Now I need you to tell me the truth, you know I'd do that for you."_

"_Is it me? Is it you? Nothing that I can do to make you change your mind. Oh. _

_So, why are you running away?"_

--

"We should tell him the truth."

"NO!"

"Misaki, that's our only choice. Please, think about it?"

"No,"

"Misaki,"

"No,"

"I will force you to listen to me reading my BL novels."

Misaki though this over for a moment. They both knew he would rather be skinned alive than be read that smut. Then he shook his head, "No, Usagi. Please, just let me go."

But Usami couldn't let him go. He wouldn't let the one he loved be taking away again.

So he did the only thing he could. He kissed Misaki until he couldn't protest anymore and carried him into the bedroom.

Misaki had missed him. He didn't even complain or try the old, 'what if my neighbors hear?' crap.

Not like Usami actually gave him a chance to.

--

**Okay, well the next will be up soon. I'm very sorry to say that things will not work out the way Akihiko wants them to. The next chapter will be called: **_**I hate everything about you**_**. Gotta love that song for them!**

**BTW, like the new format for the songs? I think it's pretty sweet, though I don't know if I can go back and tweak my last chapters for it.**


	5. I Hate Everything About You

Thanks to all you guys.

Anyway this is _I hate everything about you_ by Three Days Grace.

--

"_Every time we lay awake after every hit we take, every feeling that I get but I haven't missed you yet."_

--

Misaki woke up next to Akihiko. He couldn't believe he'd let himself get swept away like that. Hadn't he promised himself that he'd forget Usami, for his own sake?

But he couldn't just forget. He couldn't let this go on.

It was Usami's fault. He had to come and ruin everything. Just when Misaki was starting to think he could move on.

He hated it. Sure, he loved Akihiko. But he hated just about everything about him. It wasn't fair that he had to love such a horrible reckless person.

He needed to move on. Before Usami ripped his heart fully in half.

--

"_Every room may kept awake by every silent scream we'd make. All the feelings that I get but I still don't miss you yet."_

--

Who was he kidding? He could never just get over Akihiko. Just like Akihiko could never just get over Takahiro. He still loved him, though a little less now that he was with Misaki. _Was with Misaki_. Misaki could never forget Usami, but he could find someone else to get close too. Couldn't he?

If only Usami would let Misaki go. He'd already proved he would fight for his loved one.

Why didn't Misaki want to be fought for?

No, he had to move on because of Takahiro. His brother would be a mess if he ever found out. Misaki already owed him soo much…

--

"_Hold me when I start to think about you, I know. Hold me when you start to think about me, do you know? I hate everything about you."_

--

"Usagi?" Misaki asked sitting up. He shook the writer lying next to him. "Wake up."

Akihiko grumbled something.

"It's noon, wake up." This time Misaki said it seriously. He needed to get rid of Akihiko. He needed to clean up and go out to look for a job. He couldn't stay with Akihiko forever; even though that was the one thing he wanted the most.

"What? Are you ready to come home?"

"No, but you seriously need to go."

"Huh?"

"Akihiko I need you to leave me alone."

"But, I thought you…"

"Nothing's changed! I have to stay here and get a job. I learned a long time ago that reality isn't a nice place. And the reality is that we can't be together."

"But…"

"Get out, Akihiko. Go back to your own world of neglecting responsibilities and leave me the heck alone." Misaki hated himself for sounding so cruel. He loved Akihiko, why did he have to do this?

Usami nodded and muttered, "If that's what you want."

He left Misaki in the small plain looking bedroom. Misaki listened as the footsteps stopped and the apartment home opened. Usami stopped in the doorway for a couple of seconds before saying loudly, **"Would you have the guts to say, 'I don't love you, like I loved yesterday'?"**

--

"_I hate everything about you. Why do I love you?"_

--

**This will only have 2-4 more chapters. The next is: I don't love you (I took a line from the song, as you can see.) After that I'm thinking of adding two more but I'm not sure. **

**Sadly right now I have to work on JH. I've been neglecting it for too long.**


	6. I Don't Love You

_Three chapters in one day? Lol, this one is my reward for finishing the next to last chapter in Junjou High. I'll be posting the last chapter to this after I finish my alternate ending. It wouldn't be included with this story so you'll have to check my profile. _

I don't love you_ by __My Chemical Romance._

--

"_Would you have the guts to say, 'I don't love you…'"_

--

Akihiko could do nothing to stop the tears. He simply got into his car and started driving.

Misaki could move on. He'd already shown Akihiko that he didn't belong to him. Misaki was always the stronger one. He could go on without Akihiko. He could find someone else, and begin to live his life again.

But Akihiko couldn't do that. It was too late for him. He'd lost Takahiro, and now he was losing Misaki.

Maybe he just destined to be alone. To suffer…

--

"_Well, when you go… So never think I'll make you try to stay. And maybe when you get back out, they have to find after way…"_

--

Surely Misaki would get out eventually. He couldn't let Takahiro run his life forever. Maybe Akihiko could talk to him about letting Misaki go. He couldn't protect the boy forever.

But neither could Usami.

Somehow, he knew it was all over.

Misaki needed time. His heart would mend and he'd move on.

--The next day:

Akihiko couldn't stand waiting around, thinking things were over. They couldn't be. He should talk to Misaki. Certainly Misaki wanted him back. He had too.

Akihiko got Misaki's voicemail when he called. He begged Misaki to answer. But all he got was a 'Sorry, there is no more time available for this message. Would you like to start over?' He hung up and called again. This time Misaki answered him.

"Akihiko, please stop calling me." he said, Usami could tell he'd been crying. Then he was hung up on and left to listen to the dial-tone.

He couldn't believe he was being dumped like this.

It only hurt him more to know that Misaki still loved him. It would have been easier if Misaki had told him he didn't. Instead Akihiko left knowing that even if Misaki did love him, it just wasn't strong enough. He was still more loyal to Takahiro.

--

"_And all the time I was just another blow?"_

"_When you go, would you even turn to say, 'Hey, I don't love you like I did yesterday'?"_

--

**Yeah, short one again. :( By the way, this will probably end today since I have Iris pre-written. Plus I'm in Starbucks with my laptop and iPod and I have don't work today! Yay for finally finishing something!!!**

**Iris is much longer. It shall make up for this chapter. lol**


	7. Iris

_Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls was written for a movie called City of Angels. In it an angel falls in love with a human and comes down to Earth to be with her. But it doesn't really end happy, you know? Someone's gotta go. (I'm not really into angels and stuff but it was a cool movie) _

_Thanks for staying with me. And I hope you all like the ending. (If you don't, I also wrote an alternate ending called: Lost in you. And a sequel called Dear Angel. Their on my profile.)_

--Years later:

--

"_And all I can taste is this moment. And all I can breathe is your life. 'An sooner or later it's over. I just don't want to miss you tonight."_

--

I saw Misaki the other day. He was standing outside a coffee shop, drinking tea. My heart stopped when I saw him. After all these years, how could just the sight of him do this to me? How could I still love him, when we hadn't met since that night many years ago?

He looked up, causing me to step back. He was still as adorable as I remembered him. And his smile stirred up all the old emotions again.

His face brightened when he saw me. _Did he feel the same?_ My heart pounded in my chest and I somehow managed to wave at him. His grin widened and he started forward.

And he walked straight past me.

I turned, heart still beating quickly, and watched him rush toward another guy. The guy blushed, making his lavender eyes sparkle. The blushed darkened as Misaki reached out and patted his gray-ish brown hair. He shyly hugged my Misaki, who kissed him quickly before taking his hand. I couldn't help but smile at Misaki as they walked away. He'd moved on. He w as happy!

Even though I seriously wanted to shove the new guy into the middle of traffic and remind Misaki who it was he belonged to; I was slightly happy for him. Misaki meant the world to me. If he was happy in his relationship, I wouldn't deny him this happiness.

--

Akihiko paused a few times while writing it, expecting the tears. _You can't fight the tears that aren't coming,_ he told himself and quickly finished his last book. He wouldn't interfere with Misaki's life after this. Unless Misaki himself said he wanted to come home, Akihiko would leave him be.

He called Aikawa to tell her that he'd finished his torture.

"Thank you, Sensei. For once it's not totally late!"

"I saw him to the other day," Usami said sadly, "It… inspired me."

"Are you okay? Did you talk to him?"

"He was with another guy."

"Oh," she said sighing, "Well, I guess it's time we all moved on. You know, you could always meet someone…"

"It wouldn't be the same," he said, taking a drag on his cigarette.

"You could try talking to him; I could probably find his number for you."

"No, he doesn't need me screwing up his life. I don't want to hurt him." He said.

--

Even after all the grief, he was glad they were together. Even if the three years were only a brief moment in time, they'd affected him more than he knew. He'd gotten to know Misaki, and that was what really mattered. Even if Misaki was now with another guy, Akihiko couldn't help but think he'd also made an effect on Misaki's life.

--

"_I'd give up forever to touch you. Cause I know that you feel the same now."_

--

When Misaki saw the familiar book, he didn't know how to feel.

Shiki had found it in the bookstore and bought it because Misaki's name was on the back. Luckily he didn't think it had anything to do with his Misaki, he just had the same name. And it was a BL novel, Shiki had to read it.

Misaki wanted to tear it up as soon as he saw Shiki reading it. But Shiki was crying, and it didn't seem like a normal Usami book.

He read it when Shiki fell asleep. He even stayed up late to finish it. And he really did cry when he read the end. Akihiko couldn't have just guessed what Shiki looked like. He had to have seen them.

But he couldn't believe he'd missed Akihiko. Surely he would have known the one he loved was standing so close. He could have just passed him like that.

Misaki almost called Aikawa. She would know Akihiko's number, and if hers had changed he could just call the publishing company. He hadn't seen Akihiko in six years…

He stopped himself and looked at Shiki. It wouldn't be fair to him if Misaki sudden ran off after Akihiko. And he really did like Shiki. And the boy would be heartbroken if Misaki left him. But where did that leave him?

But if he hadn't noticed Usami before, maybe there was a reason. Maybe the memory was better than the reality. After so long it was impossible for him to love the same person, wasn't it?

He didn't call Aikawa. He even hid the book from Shiki, who hadn't finished it. He would remain loyal to his lover. And if one day, for some reason, Shiki and he split up, maybe he'd try to talk to Akihiko then. But until that unmarked day, he wouldn't think about Akihiko again.

--

"_And I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."_

--

**Well, that's it. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. **

**My iPod keeps "talking" to me. So, somehow I've got a sequel in mind and an anternate ending started. **


End file.
